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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22600162">The Unbreakable Bond</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlwaysEverlark/pseuds/AlwaysEverlark'>AlwaysEverlark</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Dyad (Star Wars), Mutual Pining, Planet Hoth (Star Wars), Rey (Star Wars) is a Mess, Soulmates, Stranded, and she's cold, but Ben is a gentleman (sort of), stranded in a cold planet</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 14:55:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,399</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22600162</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlwaysEverlark/pseuds/AlwaysEverlark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Scared of her Force Connection with Kylo Ren, Rey looks in the Jedi Text and finds a way to close it forever. But it is going to be me more dangerous and difficult than she expected. Will she be able to severe it? Will Kylo know her intentions?</p><p>——————</p><p>***Art by Lauvamp ***</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>115</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>For one is both and both are one in love: The Reylo Fanfiction Anthology's Valentine's Day Exchange</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Unbreakable Bond</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkSideOfMe/gifts">DarkSideOfMe</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>

</p><p> </p><p>She needs to break the bond. If last night was any indication. She really must cut this connection between her and Kylo Ren.</p><p>After Crait, Rey thought she had cut it, or at least closed it, but some weeks ago she started feeling it, again, a presence in the back of her mind. Then she could hear him saying her name or other random words or feelings: concern, anxiety, loneliness, longing..to be fair, she didn’t know who those feelings belonged to, if there were Kylo’s or hers. And that was the other reason to put an end to this; she wasn’t ready to deal with anything different to her anger and disappointment. She had to focus on her training, on the Resistance, in their fight against “his” First Order. She was scared, scared of something she couldn’t put a name to, and last night had just showed her how important it was to break their connection.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> She had dreamed of him before, she had, but last night wasn’t a dream. She was tired, she was sad, she was confused, she was thinking about him, she wanted to ask him so many things. She wanted to ask him why. Why he chose to make the Galaxy a worse place; why having everything, the greatness she had seen in him, he had still decided to throw it away; why he chose to make both of their lives miserable. He told her she wasn’t alone anymore, but since they parted ways she’s felt more alone than ever.   </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> A tear dropped down her cheek when she felt a hand touching her face. His hand. She opened her eyes and she saw nothing. She couldn’t see him, but somehow he was there, she just knew. She closed her eyes again and she felt his ghostly hand resume its position on her cheek. And it was so warm, and so soft, she couldn’t help but to trap it between her face and her shoulder. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> If she closed her eyes she could picture him lying down on his chambers, all black attire and stretching his hands to touch her. It didn’t feel like the time when they touched hands, in the same place across the stars. This was a light version of that moment but still felt so good after four months where she had denied herself any contact with him. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He wiped  her tears away with his other hand, his thumb caressing her skin. She kissed the hand pressed to her cheek and she heard him gasp. Neither of them dared to speak, afraid that this stolen moment would fade. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He traced her eye with his thumb, moving along the line of her jaw down to her chin, and then he stopped dangerously near to her mouth, the mouth she still had pressed to his other hand, and he passed his finger over it: one, two, three times. She was about to lose her mind and she did. The next time he attempted to caress her lips, she trapped his finger in her mouth and sucked. His demeanor changed at that moment, going from under control to wild at her action.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Kriff, Rey!” His voice was distant but still clear, and deep. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> How she has missed his voice saying her name. She felt a warm wave run down her spine, her whole body and her core starting to throb. This was insane, he wasn’t even here and she was turned on.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ben moved his finger down her neck to her collarbone, and he stopped there. She wanted to tell him to keep going down, but she didn’t. She did something even bolder.. She took his hand with hers and pressed it tightly to her body, moving it down over her clothes to her chest, her belly, to the hem of her pants, and when his hand touched the bare skin of her lower belly, she moaned. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> She encouraged him to go lower with her hand but she felt his resistance this time and his hesitation. He was torn about acting on their desire, on what felt right to him… and that little doubt passing through his mind, brought her, finally, to her senses. She closed the connection all of a sudden, and she was again cold, alone, ashamed and painfully wet in her room. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> After that she had to take a very cold and long shower to calm her body down. It was  when she came up with her plan.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> She must close, once and for all, her connection to Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. It was time to read the Jedi texts she’s been putting off for too long. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>She stays up all night going through the books. She doesn't know what she's looking for, but she once overheard Leia talking about something called a Force Bond. All she learned was that it was a weird connection; of course Rey had never mentioned to Leia that she was bonded to her son.</p><p> </p><p>The next morning she still hasn’t found anything and calls in sick to her mechanic duties, burying again in her reading. By dinner time, she’s had a stroke of luck, and  thinks she’s found something…but she needs some help to make sense of it, and she has the right person in mind.</p><p> </p><p>“Rose” she calls out to her friend in the canteen. She is by Poe and Finn, at the same table finishing their dinner.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, how are you feeling?” Finn asks standing up to hug her. Rey quizzes for a moment until she realizes he’s referring to her supposed illness. <em> Kriff! She had forgotten. </em></p><p> </p><p>“Oh, I feel a bit better. Still not great though… Rose, would you mind coming with me, please? I’d need your help with something.” </p><p> </p><p>Finn and Poe look at her with concern. “Are you sure you’re ok, Rey?” Finn asks again.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, it’s just a girls thing,” they nod, and Rose follows her out of the canteen and into the labyrinthic aisles of the base till her room.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s going on, Rey?” Rose says as soon as she closes the door of her room. Of course, she didn’t buy her performance for a second, she’s the smartest of the four.</p><p> </p><p>“I need your help with something. Please could you read these pages?” she answers, pointing at the book with the Force Bond information.</p><p> </p><p>“Is that Jedi stuff?” Rey nods to Rose. “In that case, wouldn’t General Organa be a better person for this? I thought she was training you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not in this case, Rose. I’ll tell you everything after you read it and tell me what you understand. I need a second opinion and I don’t want to influence you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, sure,” Rose can sense the  urgency, and sits and starts reading through the pages.</p><p> </p><p>Rey waits impatiently, walking back and forth across the room, and she feels a bit guilty after lying to Rose. She would tell her everything that is relevant for this mission, but she doesn’t intend to fill her with all the details.</p><p> </p><p>After thirty minutes, Rose raises her head and motions to her to sit down.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, so the text is talking about a powerful connection that can exist between two powerful Force-sensitive users. This Force Bond allows those two living beings to connect and communicate with another across great distances. Sometimes this connection is unwanted by one or both users but the bond could be extremely difficult and dangerous to break. There is a way, though, to break it, if one of the users manages to close a triad of Force gates which are called “the vortex gates.” The bond will be broken and the connection will disappear between those two individuals. The vortex gates are located on three different systems, but they have one thing in common; the three planets are cold, frozen planets. It gives some coordinates that I guess will determine the location of those planets,” Rose finishes. “And I guess you need me to calculate those coordinates, don’t you?” Rey smiles as confirmation.</p><p> </p><p>“Please, Rose, I need your help.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll help you, but you need to tell me what is that all about, because it says it’s very dangerous and the person closing the last gate could die. Force Bonds are powerful and not everyone can support the pain of being disconnected from the other user. Is this because of Kylo Ren?”</p><p> </p><p>“How do you know?” Rey asks, surprised.</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t know you before Crait, but since then I’ve noticed how you frown and bite your lips every time someone speaks of him, Rey. How you fidget with your hands in the daily reports, but only when someone mentions the First Order Supreme Leader, or how you blushed and averted  your eyes that time we heard Leia talking about how her son was as a toddler. You are Force-bonded to him, aren't you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, I am, and this is why I need to break this connection. Even if it’s dangerous for me, it is more dangerous for everyone in The Resistance. I’ve managed to block the connection, mostly, but it’s getting stronger. And when I’m tired or sick and I’m not strong enough, I feel the walls going down and the connection spikes.”</p><p> </p><p>“Does he try to know where you are? Has he ever tried to hurt you?” Rose asks with a voice that shows her deep concern.</p><p> </p><p>“No…no, he hasn’t hurt me or even tried to hurt me.” Quite the opposite, she thinks and blushes, hoping Rose doesn’t notice. She continues, “we usually just try to ignore each other,” she half-lies. “Will you help me, please?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, of course. I’ll need to introduce and triangulate these coordinates in the computer to get the locations. We can do it tomorrow morning.”</p><p> </p><p>“No!” Rey nearly screams. “Please, tonight. We have to do this tonight and I need to fly out as soon as we get the data.”</p><p> </p><p>Rose looks at her suspiciously, but finally agrees,  not before saying to her, “don’t you think for a moment, Rey, that I don’t know there’s something else you’re not telling me. I’ll be here when you feel ready to explain what else is going on. Because if everything that book says is true, you’re going to need a friend in this hell of a mission you’re going to launch yourself into.”</p><p> </p><p>“I will,” Rey promises and squeezes her hand.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, then. Let’s go.”</p><p> </p><p>They walk the aisles of the base, which are quiet and dark at this time of the night. Everyone who isn’t on duty is sleeping,  across from the jungle outside which is full of noises and iridescent radiation flowing from the plants, trees and flowers. When Rey first landed here she could stay for hours in the night, looking at the dance of lights, mesmerized by the patterns they created in the darkness, peaks of beautiful light among all the darkness surrounding them… it reminded  her of Ben. His darkness and his light. As always, thinking about the First Order Supreme Leader sparked the need to connect with him. That’s why she forced herself to not wander near the jungle in the night, hoping to bury their connection and the urge she felt. Nevertheless, it didn’t work, and finally last night she understood it won’t ever until one of them destroys their bond or destroys each other.</p><p> </p><p>The Command Room is as quiet as it can be during war times. Rose walks to one of the computers and starts typing the information she copied from the books. She can see on the screen numbers and coordinates, and planets, systems and maps.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, this is it,” Rose says. “Celsor 3, Vandor 1 and Hoth. They are all cold or icy planets.”</p><p> </p><p>“Great,” Rey sighs. Of course the Force won’t make this any easier for her. She loves green and rain… but not cold planets, she’s a desert girl after all. “I’m not fond of cold.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’d say that is going to be the least of your problems,” Rose answers her with a hesitant tone. “If these vortex gates work as ‘force antennas,’ that means that they are located in cold places so the power of the signal can be stronger and if the signal is the Force in this case…”</p><p> </p><p>“...That can’t be good,” Rey ends the sentence for her.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, that might imply that your connection with Kylo Ren will be stronger when you approach the gate.”  A shiver goes down Rey’s spine. She doesn’t need their connection to be stronger.</p><p> </p><p>“I can block it,” she says, trying to convince both herself and Rose.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure about this?” Rose says “You don’t need to go alone, Finn or Poe could…”</p><p> </p><p>“No, I have to do this alone. He could hurt others but he… he would never hurt me.” Rose raises her eyebrows in a silent question. “It’s complicated, but please trust me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Will do, for now, but you need to connect with me every twenty-four hours or I’ll send them to look for you.” Rey nods and heads to the ship after hugging Rose.</p><p> </p><p>Celsor 3 is a small moon with a picturesque landscape covered in ice and snow and dotted with giant ice pillars blanketed in mist. It is mostly an uninhabited world. She’s felt uneasy the whole time traveling there, but apart from that, it’s been an eventful ride.</p><p> </p><p>She can’t feel him yet. True, she slept at the beginning of the journey so she could be rested and focus on blocking their connection, and it has worked until now. Maybe Rose was wrong, she thinks as she enters the moon’s atmosphere and lands the ship on one of the ice mountains. She can’t see the entrance, the blue fog is surrounding her and her personal navigation system isn’t of use down here. due magnetic storms. She walks tentatively on the slippery ice, baby steps, until she feels one of her feet stepping into the void. She falls on her knees and luckily for her there’s solid ice under part of her body. <em> That was a close one, </em> she thinks.</p><p>She cut her off from the Force when she left the base. She wanted to avoid any connection with Kylo so she’s been extra careful, but the planet is full of crevices, and there’s no other way for her to reach her destination, so she reaches… and then she starts sensing him too, despite her efforts to block him. It’s very weak and she’s only noticing because she knows it could be there. Hopefully Kylo is sleeping or busy and won’t notice anything. </p><p> </p><p>She gets into the cave and takes in her surroundings, allowing a moment to contemplate the astonishing icy cavern. The ice reflects thousands of variations of blue, creating a magical atmosphere. She’s not sure she’s seen anything as beautiful in her entire life.</p><p> </p><p>“Rey?” She listens to his voice, that brings her back to reality. The quality of his voice is much better than some nights ago, nearly as if he was in the same space. She needs to hurry up. She has to reach the crystal and destroy it with her lightsaber to close the first door.</p><p> </p><p>She runs, as fast as she can, heading down an aisle where a bright light can be seen. The air is cold, colder than outside and it burns her lungs, each new aspiration requiring an effort, and she’s nearly out of breath, when she reaches her destination.</p><p> </p><p>“Where are you? it’s freezing!” his voice says again. She tries to block him out but she’s exhausted, the crystal is sucking her energy in and radiating it through a hole in the icy ceiling. The wind is whipping around her like a whirlwind that threatens to throw her to the floor. She needs to close the door before it’s too late… she’s reaching to her belt to take her lightsaber when he appears in front of her and the ice storm stops. The crystal has regained its balance and the force hums.</p><p> </p><p>“Rey…” he says with disbelief in his eyes. He blinks to make sure she’s there for real, and not a product of his imagination. He’s pictured this moment thousands of times over the last few months, but something isn't right. He knows. “Rey, what’s wrong? Why are you reaching out to me?”</p><p> </p><p>“I haven’t reached out to you,” she says, her voice as cold as the planet, pretending not to be affected by him. She knew seeing him was a possibility if Rose was right, but still she wasn’t prepared for what seeing him would do to her. He looks good, different: more mature, more grown up, more collected. His hair is combed back, longer and touches his shoulders, it’s styled differently. His eyes are the same though: brown and intense. She’s missed his eyes she realized.</p><p> </p><p>“You are cold, your lips are blue and you’re shivering,” he says as a matter of fact, stepping towards her and removing his cape to put it over her shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>She backs away. She can’t afford to let him get too close to her, she doesn’t trust her traitorous heart .</p><p> </p><p>“No, don’t get closer to me”</p><p> </p><p>“As you wish,” he says with a stern voice but the glint of his eye tells her he’s hurt. “Then, why is the Force connecting us, again?”</p><p> </p><p>This is the moment she’s been rehearsing since she started this mission. This is when she has to lie to him and tell him that she’s clueless. That she doesn’t know why the Force is connecting them, but it feels wrong, very wrong. Their relationship is complicated to say the least, but both of them have always been honest with each other. It’s funny if she thinks about it. She has tried to kill him three times but she can’t make herself lie to him, so she sabotages her own plan.</p><p> </p><p>“I am trying to sever our bond,” she says, looking with a defiant glare.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, i see. I understand now the cold, the strength of this connection...You have found the vortex gates,” he says, pain reflected in his face.</p><p> </p><p>“Did you know about them? You knew we could end this… this connection and never told me?” She exclaims when he nods his head, anger filling her.</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t realize at first, but I studied ten years with Luke. I remembered reading about them in one of the Jedi books.”</p><p> </p><p>“But you never acted on it? Ben, why not?” He doesn’t answer so she pushes again. “Ben, tell me why you didn’t close our bond.”</p><p> </p><p>“You didn’t take my hand in Snoke’s Throne Room, but I know you wanted to take it. Why Rey?” He’s deflecting, as always. He’s really good at that, but she’s not going to satisfy him. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s no good to speak about the past. We both made our decisions. You chose power and I chose to stand up for what your parents fought for. ”</p><p> </p><p>“Always so virtuous…aren’t you? but I know your dirty little secrets, Rey,” he mocks, and she blushes because even if he doesn’t say a word, she knows what he’s implying.</p><p> </p><p>“You…are a…monster, and I am ending this now,” she switches on her lightsaber and walks to the crystal. But before she gets there, Kylo steps in her way and ignites his cross guard.</p><p> </p><p>“I won’t let you.” </p><p> </p><p>“What are you going to do? Kill me?” She laughs out loud. “Get out of my way, Kylo.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want to kill you Rey, but I will if you don’t stop this now. It’s dangerous, we could die...both of us.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not both of us, only the one who closes the door, and I am willing to die if that means not sharing this connection with you.” She strikes at him, not very strong but she’s caught him off guard and he struggles to keep his balance.</p><p> </p><p>She sees her opportunity and aims for the crystal, but in the last moment his saber protects the kyber from her. But she’s enraged and attacks him again, spinning around and moving in a fast succession of forms. He blocks all of them till he’s caged between the ice wall and her and she opens a superficial wound in his chest. </p><p> </p><p>“Stop it!” But she doesn’t listen.</p><p> </p><p>Then he changes his tactic and goes from defensive to attacking, quickly gaining the terrain he’d lost. She’s out of breath when he knocks her lightsaber out of her hand and raises his sword to to finish her off…. but when their eyes meet he exhales her name. “Rey.”  </p><p> </p><p>He puts his saber down and switches it off. </p><p> </p><p>She knows at that moment that she’s won, he won’t ever hurt her, let alone kill her. He won’t stop her. She calls for her lightsaber, and in a quick gesture ignites it and cuts the crystal in two.</p><p> </p><p>She sees him gasp before he vanishes right in front of her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>A pain like she’s never felt crosses her body for several seconds, and she doubles over bends, holding her ribs. It’s a short moment though, but she wonders if he’s felt it too, and if the pain will become more intense when she closes the other two gates.</p><p> </p><p>She’s back at the Falcon when she sees Rose’s holo.</p><p> </p><p>“How did it go?” </p><p> </p><p>Rey offers a vague story, omitting the details of her conversation and fight with Kylo. </p><p> </p><p>“So your connection got stronger? Was he there?”</p><p> </p><p>“Somehow,” she lies. “Definitely stronger than back at the base. You were right about these spots channeling the Force between individuals. I am exhausted but I’m heading straight to Vandor 1 tonight.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hmmm, maybe it’s not the best idea,” Rose says.</p><p> </p><p>“What is it, Rose?” Rey questions, feeling like she’s not going to enjoy her friend’s answer.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I hoped I was wrong but… if these Force spots really work as antennas, the other two will be ‘over transmitting’ to cover the area with no coverage.”</p><p> </p><p>“Meaning?”</p><p> </p><p>“Meaning the Force will be even stronger as you approach the gate, much stronger than this time. You better be rested when you get there. When was the last time you slept?” Rose asks.</p><p> </p><p>“Just after I left the base, three days ago.” </p><p> </p><p>“It will be better if you spend the night there, that point is the safest one in the Galaxy.”</p><p> </p><p>“But I need some fuel. It’s freezing outside and the solar panels don’t work properly to heat the Falcon,” she cries out, but she accepts when she sees Rose’s menacing face. “Ok, I will spend the night here, rest and then will head to Vandor.”</p><p> </p><p>She retreats to her bunk and takes the blanket she finds. She hopes it’s enough, but she’s not sure. It’s so cold and she needs to save fuel, so using the heat is out of the equation. She barely rests her head on the pillow when she’s drifted off.</p><p> </p><p>Minutes or hours later, Rey wakes up surrounded by something comforting and soft against her cheek. A familiar but enthralled scent… <em> Ben! </em> She thinks and opens her eyes abruptly.</p><p> </p><p>She perceives his form while her eyes get used to the darkness. He’s sitting on the floor, his back resting on the wall but his eyes on her.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you doing here? How…?”</p><p> </p><p>“The Force” he shrugs. </p><p> </p><p>“You know, I’d rather not do this now…” she says. She’s tired of fighting against him, against the Force, she only wants to rest, close her eyes and rest for real.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, me too…”  he frowns, annoyed. “But here we are. Your little stunt didn’t work, quite the opposite, and now we’re more stuck with each other than before.” </p><p> </p><p>“This will be temporary,” she bites back, hurt by his words and the way he’s looking at her. “Next time, why don’t you try to avoid showing up in my quarters?” </p><p> </p><p>“Well, that’s funny, because you know I can’t control it. And besides, when someone woke me up hitting my legs, you were the one in my quarters and in my bed,” he replies, standing up and gesturing to his surroundings. “Believe me Rey, I don’t want to impose on you. That’s why you’re still there and I was sitting on the floor.”</p><p> </p><p>“How long have you been here?” </p><p> </p><p>“A while,” is the only answer he offers.</p><p> </p><p>“Kylo, I…” but before she can apologize, he’s gone and she’s alone. When she drops her head to the bed frustrated, she realizes she has his cape on top of her blanket, warming her. She takes it into her hands and presses it to her nose, a tear escaping her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>She’s in trouble, she realizes, but still determined to accomplish her mission. </p><p> </p><p>The next day, on her way to Vandor, they pop up in each other’s locations several times. They ignore each other, but what Rey can’t ignore is how her heart skips a beat every time she hears his voice or when their eyes meet. He always is the first to look away, or to walk in another direction. It’s the right thing, but it’s excruciating nevertheless. She hopes the pain she feels will disappear once it is done.</p><p> </p><p>Just before arriving to the planet, she’s walking the Falcon’s corridor to go to the cockpit for the landing when she suddenly finds herself in a Star Destroyer walking by him, followed closely by the Knights of Ren. His long steps are difficult to keep up with. She tries it though, afraid his Knights can sense her, so she gets closer to him. Their arms touch each other with a new step.  Kylo is uneasy too. “Turn on your right and enter that empty room,” he says through their bond. </p><p> </p><p>She does as he says, and hears him saying through the modulator of his mask, “I’ll be right back.” Then he enters the room and closes the door behind him. </p><p> </p><p>“This is a really bad moment,” he says. “Stay here and you will be safe. I need to go.”</p><p> </p><p>He stays there for a second looking at her. Or that’s what she thinks he’s doing, because she can’t see his eyes. Rey hates that mask. The last time she saw him wearing it was when he interrogated her months ago, and she realises he’s not the same man she met on Takodana and on Starkiller base. He’s trying to protect her. </p><p> </p><p>He turns around to exit when she hears herself saying--</p><p> </p><p>“Take that mask off.” Why on Earth she says those words, she doesn’t know. </p><p> </p><p>He laughs, but not a happy laugh; more like a self-deprecated one.</p><p> </p><p>“We are not playing at this now. You have a bond to cut and I have a battle to plan.”</p><p> </p><p>“Against The Resistance. Against your mother. Against me,” Rey says, crossing her arms.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t,” he exclaims, pointing to her with his finger in a menacing gesture. </p><p> </p><p>“Ben… stop it. Please.”</p><p> </p><p>“Am I Ben, now? Not Kylo? Not a monster?” He yells at her. </p><p> </p><p>No, he isn’t the same man. She feels his hesitation, his pull to the light, his fears and hopes, his compassion, and she understands why he’s wearing the mask again. Because he knows all these things too, and he’s trying to put a wall between his Supreme Leader persona and Ben Solo. </p><p> </p><p>“You are Ben to me.”</p><p> </p><p>“You told me you’d rather be dead than Force-bonded to me. When were you lying, Rey?”</p><p> </p><p>She approaches him and puts a hand in his chest. Under her touch he stills like a marble statue. Rey wonders if he’s breathing, kriff, she wonders if she’s breathing.  The Force flowing between the two of them, when they’re together it always feels right.</p><p>Tentatively, she raises her arms and places her hands on the mask, unlocking the mechanism but before she can take his mask off, he stops her hands and locks his mask again.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t be the man you want me to be,” he turns around but before heading out he says, “you should finish what you’ve started.”</p><p> </p><p>She’s left in the impersonal room and only five seconds later she’s back in her ship.</p><p> </p><p>Closing the gate on Vandor is easier. There are no fights or surprises, although just as the first time, the kyber conjures up his presence.</p><p> </p><p>She can see his surroundings this time. He’s in a command room full of First Order Officials and General Hux is there too.</p><p> </p><p>Kylo looks at her through the mask and nods, as if giving her permission. Then he turns to the window looking out into space. His back is the last thing she sees before cutting the crystal in a perfect half. She believes their souls have been separated in halves too.</p><p> </p><p>She needs more time than she expected to arrive on Hoth, her last stop. She runs into significant First Order interference on her way there, and she has to recalculate her route. That night she communicates her suspicions with Rose.</p><p> </p><p>“Have you seen any uncharacteristic movements of First Order forces in the Hoth System?” she asks, concerned, because she has a hunch.</p><p> </p><p>“Hmmm, not that I remember, but let me check.” Rey listens as Rose types fast on her computer. “No, there are no First Order sightings in that area. They’ve been quieter in general the last few days; less raids, less attacks, which is weird. Why are you asking?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s just…I had to change my route a couple of times now, from Vandor to Hoth, and it’s taking me ages to get there.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wait a moment, I’m looking at something else.” After a few moments, she raises her eyebrows in a surprised expression. “This is… interesting.”</p><p> </p><p>“What are you looking at, Rose?”</p><p> </p><p>“The most direct Hyperlanes from Vandor to Hoth are being monitored by the First Order.”</p><p> </p><p>“Is the First Order on Hoth?” Rey asks, worried.</p><p> </p><p>“No, just some of the most direct hyperlanes the ones that need two or three jumps. That means you can get to the system only for the Systyam route, the longest one from Vandor. Rey…Did Kylo Ren know where you were and where you were heading?” Rey nods “Kriff!! This could be a trap. Return to the base now!”</p><p> </p><p>“No, it’s not that,” Rey replies, because she’s seeing now what he’s doing; <em> He’s such an idiot! </em>she thinks.</p><p> </p><p>“Explain yourself,” Rose demands. “Rey…”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s going to close the gate before I can do it.” </p><p> </p><p>“Wow, that’s great, that’s good, isn’t it? Let him take the risk and come back,” Rose says, smiling.</p><p> </p><p>“No, it’s not. This is my mission, this is what I’ve decided, not him. I was willing to take the risk, not him. He didn’t even want to close it, he only agreed because I told him…Oh Kriff! I told him I’d rather be dead that connected to him! He only wants to protect me!” Rey snaps, covering her face with her hands.</p><p> </p><p>“Protect you…The Supreme Leader of the Galaxy wants to protect his enemy,” a flabbergasted Rose says. “And why do you care?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s complicated.”</p><p> </p><p>“You need to elaborate on that, if you don’t want me to tell General Organa.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know how to explain it, Rose. I know he’s infuriating and he’s dark, but light too, we’re very similar and...”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you care for him?” Rey nods, biting her lower lip.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh girl, you have it bad… what are you going to do?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know, I just need to stop him… I will think of something.” Because suddenly she’s terrified of losing him forever. No talking to him anymore, not knowing if he’s fine or not anymore, no touching him anymore. The realisation hits her like a punch to the gut. “Have to go. I can’t lose more time!”</p><p> </p><p>“I am not sure if this is really the right thing to say, since we’re talking about Kylo Ren...but you are my friend and I trust you. Good luck, Rey.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks,” she says, smiling fondly to her. </p><p> </p><p>As soon as Rey enters the atmosphere of Hoth, she notices two things: the most prominent is the big ice storm hitting the planet. The Falcon swerves, and she has a hard time stabilising it. The second, and most important thing, is that he is on Hoth. </p><p> </p><p>She reaches to him through their still opened bond. “Ben, wait for me!” He doesn’t answer. He’s trying to shut her out, but they are in the third gate, and she can feel the raw Force surrounding them, so she tries again. </p><p> </p><p>“We need to talk, please just wait until…” and then she sees him stepping into the crystal chamber. Just as the last two times,  the kyber connects them both when one of them is near the vortex gate. He looks with an intense and fiery look in his dark eyes and ignites his lightsaber. As he walks towards the kyber, the blue ice becomes red and purple. “Don’t do--” But before she can finish the sentence, a bump throws her against the wall, where she hits her shoulder and head. She’s dizzy for a moment but she knows she needs to get to the dashboard and control the ship before it crashes. As she stands up, another big jolt  gets her flying in the cockpit. </p><p> </p><p>“Rey!” she hears Kylo screaming before everything fades out.</p><p> </p><p>When she regains consciousness everything is dark and cold, and she can’t open her eyes. They are too heavy and her body hurts, every inch of it, but slowly she feels a warm spot on her temple that starts spreading through her head and her body. She opens her eyes just to find Ben holding her in his lap, one arm circling her back and the other on her temple and forehead. He is there for real: not a ghostly vision, not a Force-bond moment. He’s there, solid and clear.</p><p> </p><p>“Ben…” she exhales, moving up to face him.</p><p> </p><p>He doesn’t say a word, he just looks at her in awe, his glassy eyes full of something she can’t pinpoint but gives her chills. His lips are tight and slightly turned upwards in what could be a sweet smile. She touches his face with the palm of her hand and and he presses his cheek to it, closing his eyes for a second, opening them again when she strokes the locks of his hair that falls onto his defined jaw. </p><p> </p><p>“You are here” she says, moving her fingers down his jawline, when he nods his smile widens, and she acts on the hunger she feels. Placing her other hand on the side of his face, she crashes her lips to his. Ben reacts instantly and hugs her by her waist, bringing her closer to him, not allowing any space between their bodies. She welcomes the heat from his body and eagerly opens her mouth to take more, to take in all she can. He moans when her tongue touches his. He could melt from her touch. He doesn’t think he’s been more alive and consumed ever in his entire life. She’s everything.</p><p> </p><p>“Rey, listen…” he says, putting some space between their mouths and bodies, when he retracts his strong arms from her waist. </p><p> </p><p>“No,” she answers “I don’t want to listen. It’s cold when you aren’t kissing me,” she says playfully but shivering, because they are on frozen Hoth after all, the rage of the storm roaring outside those walls. She catches her lower lip between her teeth and bites slowly. Ben can’t believe what is happening when she push him on his back and pins him between her knees. He takes her by her wrists, and when she bends to kiss him he pulls her roughly to him and kisses her with passion, moving his hands to her thighs, his thumbs caressing the inside of her upper legs. “Ohh, if you keep doing this,” her breath is ragged, clearly agitated, “I am going to pass out.” </p><p> </p><p>He laughs, a genuine laugh, that surprises her and fills her heart with joy and another emotion she isn’t ready to put a name to. He takes her by her middle and pulls her body to his, embracing her. “You are everything,” he says whispering in her ear. “I’d do anything for you.” </p><p> </p><p>“You, Ben Solo, better remember that. You scared me to death when you tried to close the last door.”</p><p> </p><p>“I thought you wanted that,” he says earnestly.</p><p> </p><p>She shakes her head “Maybe...before. I thought it was the easiest solution, an easy way to forget you, to erase you from my head. We’re on different sides of an endless war, The Supreme Leader and The Last Jedi. How ironic, isn’t it? And it hurts, Ben, it hurts too much being close to you, but it also hurts being far away from you. It’s just confusing, the bond makes things complicated and I was so confused, I am still confused but Ben, I…”</p><p> </p><p>“Shhh…” he quiets her with small kisses on the side of her lips, on her chin. “Shhh, I understand Rey. Everything is going to be alright.”</p><p> </p><p>He rolls them over, and he’s on top of her now. She can feel his weight and his body pressed to hers. She raises her head to kiss him deeply and arches her body to increase the pressure, and a wave of pleasure radiating from her insides clouds her thoughts, an irrational dread in her mind. She pushes the fear outside; she doesn’t want to think, she just wants to feel him.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you promise?”</p><p> </p><p>“I promise,” he says, and then he devours her mouth as if it was the last time he could kiss her. His mouth is intoxicating, his skin on hers is like velvet, she needs more, she needs everything or she really is going to pass away…</p><p> </p><p>“Ben, please …” she says, and opens through their bond all her feelings and needs …</p><p> </p><p>He stops and presses his forehead with hers.</p><p> </p><p>“I need you to promise something in return too.” She nods, oblivious of what he’s going to ask. “Promise me you won’t hate me.”</p><p> </p><p>Before she can register what he’s said, he gets up in a jump and leaves her on the ground, then reaches to his lightsaber and strikes the crystal, closing the last gate. </p><p> </p><p>“Nooo!” She shouts, but it’s too late. A force pulls her and Kylo to where the kyber was, holding them in the air, facing each other. Close but not enough for them to touch. The gate starts absorbing the energy of their Force connection, and she can see how it abandons Kylo’s body and how it weakens hers. Suddenly they start to spin around the room like they are caught in an icy twister that claws her skin. It spirals faster and faster, until a moment when she is positive she’s going to lose consciousness. She’s hurled then across the room and hits the floor. When Rey looks up, she sees Kylo still trapped in the Force whirlwind, his energy still being sucked out, his face losing all his color.</p><p> </p><p>Her whole body aches, but she needs to reach him before it’s too late, although she doesn’t know what she’s going to do. She crawls her way to the epicenter of the Force disturbance, which seems to be the two halves of the crimson crystal. Moving on instinct, Rey switches on her weapon and strikes at them. A bright light flows through the room and the wind stops. Kylo’s large body falls with a loud noise.</p><p> </p><p>“Ben!” She runs to him. “Ben, wake up!”</p><p> </p><p>After a few seconds that seem like ages to Rey, he moves his head, eyes groggy. He has a hard time trying to focus his eyes on her, and when he finally does, he thinks she might be an angel. She squeezes his hands and when she notices he squeezes back, the realization that he’s alive hits her. Relief flows through her veins, and she starts sobbing.</p><p> </p><p>He growls, and moves his body, legs, arms slowly, checking he hasn’t broken his spine in the process.</p><p> </p><p>“What did you do, nerf herder? You could have died!”</p><p> </p><p>“And that would have been better for everyone, better for you,” he says with palpable disappointment in his voice, moving his mouth as he did in Ahch-To when he was embarrassed for not mind-tricking her to bring Luke to him.</p><p> </p><p>She hits him on the head. “Ouch” he exclaims.</p><p> </p><p>“Did you listen to a word I said? How could you think I’d prefer you dead?” He raises his eyebrows, reminding her about Celsor. “Well, that was clearly another situation. We were fighting, and now we were kissing, can’t you really see the difference? I should kill you myself,” she huffs, annoyed.</p><p> </p><p>“I just wanted to break the bond and release you from what you considered a curse. I wanted you to be free and happy.”</p><p> </p><p>“I am happy... with you! and talking about the bond… do you realise it’s not gone?” She informs him, smiling, happy all of a sudden, anger forgotten. “How is that possible? We’ve closed the three vortex gates.”</p><p> </p><p>“Obviously, you were so in a rush to break this thing between us that you didn’t read the next chapter,” Ben replies, bringing a hand to his eyes. “If the bond isn’t broken it means we are a dyad in the force, two that are one. You are stuck with me forever, Rey…I am sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“I am not,” she says with fierce determination. She stands up, and helps Ben to do the same.</p><p> </p><p>“You should, though. You’ve said it yourself, Rey. We are enemies, and even if I deflect from the First Order, the war isn’t over. The Resistance won’t accept me with their arms open. What are we going to do? How is that fair to you?”</p><p> </p><p>“It is fair because I’m choosing you. I’d choose you even without the Force, Ben. I was a goner since we touch hands. I was just too scared to admit it myself.” Rey gets closer and kisses him again, and then she takes his arms and circles them around her, nuzzling into his chest and breathing to take his scent in. “You are all we need to win this war. I saw it, do you remember?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not sure we can trust those Force visions,” Ben huffs, looking away.</p><p> </p><p>“But can you trust me?” she asks, grabbing his chin and forcing him to look down at her.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, with my life,” he replies, and she can feel through their bond that he’s honest.</p><p> </p><p>“Then, stay with me, we will figure it out.” It takes him some seconds ruminating, but finally he agrees.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, Solo, now the important things! It’s cold and there’s a big storm outside that will keep us stranded in this old base for days,” she says sheepishly.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re always cold, such a desert girl!” he teases her.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m always hungry too… you will learn.” She says with emphasis and he rolls his eyes, taking her hand, lacing their fingers together.</p><p> </p><p>“Fine. This is a Resistance base; my mother always used to say that you could always rely on finding food and alcohol even in the most remote and abandoned base of the Galaxy. We’re going to test if she was telling the truth. Let’s go and look for some food and blankets…” he stops in his tracks but she doesn't move and he runs into hers. “I thought you were hungry.”</p><p> </p><p>“That can wait…I was thinking we could pick up where we left off, before you had that dramatic moment of heroics. And, I believe it’s a better way to get warm.”</p><p> </p><p>In a sudden gesture, he lifts her in a bridal carry and holds her close to him.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re such a teaser.” He smiles, but then pauses and his face grows solemn. “I remember the first time you were in my arms in Takodana, and how I felt the urge to protect you and how I was caring for you, when all I was supposed was to fight you. I believe I fell in love with you at that moment, despite your attempts to kill me."</p><p> </p><p>She lifts her arms to wrap them around his neck and brings her mouth to his. Ben doesn’t skip a beat and kisses her back.</p><p> </p><p>“See Ben, this is what I was trying to explain to you. Now I want to kiss you.”</p>
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